Holiday

Holiday Jokes

Child Support

Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?

Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.

Santa

Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"

Halloween

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

Orphan

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?

They can both flash.

Coal

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

Orphan

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Orphan

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

Christmas

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

Emo

Why does the emo hate Christmas?

The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.

Mom

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"