HI jokes

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.

Hi, how are you?

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.