HI jokes

JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.

He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!

"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

Kylin fucks his sister.

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat-mate.

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.