HI jokes

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Hi Trent!

Hi Bradyeeeeeeee!

What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?

"5 second rule!"

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?

Hi.

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?

Chocolate arm.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.