HI Jokes

What did the snail say to his ex-wife?

"I'm still leaving you!"

If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

What goes hahaha bonk?

A man laughing his head off.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Hi

The image shows a split picture. On the left, there is a person with long blonde hair, wearing a light orange and white striped dress, standing with their arms down. On the right, there is a person with black hair, wearing a dark coat, and black skirt. Both people are standing with a large circular stained glass behind them. The text on the left reads: "My two personalities living peacefully together."

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.

Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?

Hard cheese! 🧀😂

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.

He never talks about it.

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.