HI jokes

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What did the orphan say to his stepmom?

"I need help."

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?

'Cause he wanted higher grades.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?

Sharp! 🤣

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.

When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.

Hi Ethan!

Hi Eric Le!

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.