HI jokes
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Memes
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.