HI jokes
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days..
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
One day I was walking next to a home less man and he was eating grass I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I said follow me you should of seen his face when I showed him my back yard 😂😂😂😂
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"