Heart Jokes

NO ONE CAN BREAK YOUR HEART IF
Opening
Man
2ut-The
YOU DON'T LET THEM INTO YOUR LIFE

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

On everything i did all this

ADMIT IT
You've done one of these:
1) Walked into a room,
forgot what you needed,
walked out, and then remembered.
2)when you were younger,
drew the sun in
the corner of the paper
3)When you Were little,
thought the shape of a
real heart was actually
4)Closed the fridge door
really slow, just to see
when the lights went off.
5)Tried to balance the
light, between the ON & OFF

Roses are red violets are blue my heart is dead I’m such a fool

Let me know what your results are!

If u cannot see the number,
u may have
Kidney Disease
Brain Tumour
Lung Cancer
Heart Disease

W BOBBYYYYYYYY

Never forget the time Bobby got his heart
broken by a vegetarian; and then - while
looking her in the eye - demolished a 72
ounce steak in front of her
This act of spite was truly an inspiration

Me playing a game...... what did God just stop are hearts cause we didn't kill each other

Like if that was good

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

DON'T SMOKE!
WHAT A JOKE!
Within 10 seconds of your first puff,
the toxic chemicals in tobacco
smoke reach your brain, heart and
other organs. Smoking harms
almost every part of your body and
increases your risk of many
diseases. Smoking also affects how
you look and feel, your finances and
the people close to you.
Smoking causes most lung
cancers and can cause
cancer almost anywhere
on the body.
Avg. Annual Deaths Attributable to Cigarette Smoking
In the United States, 2005-2009
Stroke 15,300 (4%)
Other
Diagnoses
56,800 (10%)
Chronic
Obstructive
Pulmonary
Disease
100,600 (21%)
As the nicotine levels in your body fade, your
brain craves more dopamine. The longer you
have been smoking, the more dopamine you
need to feel good. You become dependent on
nicotine.
Other Cancers
36,000 (8%)
X
More Than
479,989
US Deaths Attributable
Each Year to
Cigarette Smoking
The nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive. It makes
your brain release a chemical called dopamine.
Dopamine is a 'feel good' chemical that makes you
feel happy helps you to concentrate gives you more
energy.
Lung Cancer Stages
Lung Cancer
137,989 (29%)
Ischemic
Heart Disease
133,300 (28%)
CL
healthy lungs
early-stage cancer
late-stage cancer
Smoking is major cause of cardiovascular disease, such as heart
disease and stroke. Smoking increases the risk of blood clots,
which block blood flow to the heart, brain or legs. Some
smokers end up having their limbs amputated due to blood
circulation problems caused by smoking.

experiment

Optional Depression
33.3k points 4 months ago edited 4 months ago
I'd train gorillas in weightlifting, really see how tanked they can get. Boost them with steroids along
the way.
2
After that, I take my army of beasts, pump them full of cocaine, and let them loose in an empty
shopping mall.
Wanna see which stores they like and which ones they don't. Y'know, for science nshit.
Edit: I've had some fantastic input from you geniuses. To add: The gorillas will be trained in all
beefup exercises, even though science is against me on this one. We're gonna throw some PCP in
with the cocaine. Cybernetic hearts to handle the load of coke, yadda, yadda, yadda... thought I
had more on this. Oh! And the mall is empty because I'm not a freaking murderer, you guys! Quit
trying to kill everyone! Not all science is about death, geez.

- .... . / .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. / .. ... / -. . ...- . .-. / .- / -. . ...- . .-. -....- . -. -.. .. -. --. / .... . .-.. .-.. / .... --- .-.. .

Irregular heartbeat. Heart palpitations. Arrhythmia. I search and search, eyes
scanning everything I can find on their symptoms. What is thie? Shortness of breath?
Chest pain? Dizziness? No. This is all wrong. Elyssa's cymptoms are nowhore near this
simple. ve seen it twice now. The screams of pais. Sickeningly pale skin. Voriting
biced. There is no other cxplanation, other than thas Renier's information was a
complete and atter lie.
This can t all be coincidence. It's not possible. I don't know how much of this Renier
is behind. But I do know this: There is something horribly wrong with this family.
And I accepted the invitation to become a part of it.
I can hear Elycsa screams through the walls now. I listen helplessly. Renior said
that he would be with her shortly. Is he in her room now? Why is she screaming even
louder than before?

Ignore Stephen hawking had a heart attack would he go to hospital or curry’s pc world?

So i ment up to a Australia girls she look like 20 and i said can i have you phone number sweet heart she saod 696969 i said oh habha ok a few days later her mother called me and said she 15

In the realm of pixels and screens, Josh pursues videos, a world unseen. Six dollars exchange, a transaction made, A story told, emotions cascade.

The power of film, a gift divine, Stirring souls, weaving through time. Six dollars spent, a connection formed, A simple act, a heart transformed.

In every frame, a universe unfolds, Captivating minds, stories untold. Josh buys videos for six, a token small, Yet within them lies magic, captivating all

May our days be abundant, a dance of delight, Will I navigate life with courage, taking flight. May our journey be a beauty, a blessing so sweet, I will celebrate friendships, where hearts and souls meet.

May our nights be bright, with laughter and cheer, May we live with love, eliminating every fear. I will grow in kindness, a serenade of grace, May our lives be a marvel, a splendid embrace.

Prince are you really gay cuz I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time! PLEASE CHOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

I love you with all my heart.

I have the heart of a lion and a life time ban at the New York zoo.

Killer Clowns

Words I live by

IF I'VE EVER OFFENDED YOU.
JUST KNOW, FROM THE BOTTOM
OF MY HEART, I'M SORRY
AVA
THAT YOU'RE OVERLY
SENSITIVE

In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills. The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation. The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue. In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.