Hearing Jokes

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

Paralyzed Man: * gets up * I’m out of here

Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up

Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up

Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Doctor: * calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency

Doctor: yes uh, a “normal” person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up

911 service: * hangs up*

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin? Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?.....................it hurt

Do you want to hear a cold joke ? Can't It warmed

when do you know your dad knows you are sneancking out ,he hears the loud creakes

u wanna hear a indian egg joke? (yeah-) nevermind. u wont UNDAstand

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Holy fucking shit Addison watersharky Gwen and all of you other cringelords I swear to god I I hear one more thing about “please be kind no bullying on the internet” I will actually shoot my local school. You may not know since you are only 8yrs old or whatever but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your “please be kind “messages to yourselves

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my father.” said Johnny. “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.” “I do.” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero? He woke up and found out it was true.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked.

What do you call a dead polar bear?

Anything they can't hear you

So my sister is a feminist I asked her what do you to hear a rape joke she said no I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.