Healthcare jokes

My abortion.

When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

Why do hospitals have fans?

To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.