Healthcare jokes

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.