Have jokes
I wish my name was Voyager 2...
So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
get this one guys
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Why can't orphans have relationships?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!