What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
In America they was a boy named urhan and he had one hand and a stump and a girl named handa who was a orphan, they had a trial for Boston red socks and they failed because urhan couldn’t stump the ball and handa didn’t know where home was.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017 it’s now 2018 and I’m still waiting for him to open it
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands? They can both do dirty things
I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
What's the worse thing about having a congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
3 cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says ́ ́ I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands ́ ́
Cowboy 2 says ́ ́ I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb ́ ́
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
“Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “May I help you?”
“I was wondering,” whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the handjobs?”
“Yes,” she purrs, “I am.”
The man replies, “Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A: So she can moan with the other.
A Boy asked his Dad : « Why didn’t you make love with my mom daddy ? » Dad : « Because I’m gay »
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee*
Son : « W- Wait a minute.. So how did i exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight ? » Dad : « Because you are not real and i didn’t even have a wife »
The Son Waked Up from his horrible nightmare And He looked so scared, he did leave his bed to check out his dad but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house and he said to his son : « Why you did look so worried I’m just bringing some food for breakfast » Son : « Well but why your hands is full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) » Dad : « Because i did it with you last night i did you forgot .. » Son : « But it was a nightmare .. »
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad : « I’m your nightmare »
The Son waked up and he seemed too scared and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The Son with himself: « Wake up b*tch wake up b*tch !!!!!! »
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A pedophile is at a School Parent night. He's holding hands with a Eight year old Girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him oh what a darling little girl you have there. The Pedophile replies no then points his finger to a child across the room and says that's my child.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven year olds. The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says yay i i got me a full house.
Yo Mama So Ugly, Bloody Mary Handed Her An Application Through The Mirror
If you turn the word racecar backwards it says racecar. But if you turn the racecar sideways you have Paul walkers blood on your hands
Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!
What does the child with no hands got for christmas? Unknown he hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in new york got for christmas? Hypothermia.
