Guys jokes
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the “no-bell” prize.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
What show can’t orphans watch?
Family Guy.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!