A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy." The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
This guy is boiling water the girl walks in and says “What are you doing” the guy says “I’m making Holy Water” She said “How?” He said “I’m boiling the hell out of it”
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
Hey guys Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone he says there name really loud. Billy-Hey guys I just got back from my DADS!! Wait what Billy??
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Roses are red i hate snitches you talk a lot of game for a guy with 3in
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today. And treat others how you want to be treated! Rate your day scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
A guy walks into a mosque ... then blows up.
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ''Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ''I know. i'ts driving me nuts!''
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?
Guy: why can't Jesus have M&M's priest: why? Guy: because they'll fall through the whole in his hands
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? “You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Do you need an ark? Because I No-ah guy!
Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and i thought i should share with you!! Today i saw myself on TV when i turned it off.
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic. Next, google 'God in Aramaic'. See the results for yourself. <3
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!” He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!” He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?” “No, this is the rink manager!”
