What did the cat say to the jar of cookies
ground beef
I have a friend named Mole, She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt......
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
"We've invented the spade!" "Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards? Yeah, they're pretty holey.
I think if the center of the earth froze, it'd be pretty hard core.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground
What did the step dad say to the flower? YOU'RE GROUNDED!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph his beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
what do you call a chicken wit no legs? ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD
There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”
“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”
“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”
“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”
“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house Because he was grounded
so a blond and a brunet jumped out of a plane . who hit the ground first
the blond becase she had to ask for directions
when i saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, i told him to censor that a-hole. when i saw the completed product, he censored me. then i killed him.
A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back up a gain 10 minutes later. The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive and the man said with a drunk slurred voice I “I don’t know every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT! The bartender looks at the first man and says”Your and a-hole when your drunk Superman.”
Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion
