me an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes* some person: stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain me an orphan: that the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
mom died so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Hey mum why do people keep suddenly dying in our family? Mum? Mum? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
my mom died
Imagen when you are about to cry at the funeral then your friends phones rings Then he says "I'll call you back I'm still at the die"
How did the orphan die
Of sadness
The parents use to hit him His parents got into a car crash and died He became an orphan in an orphanage, the people there hit him, he looked up and said "parents?"
why are orphans funerals so small? they have no loved ones
Damn Really stole my friend glasses well now their blind but not really their dead.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
I caught the flowers at a wedding-now married to a hot guy. But then i caught andit at a funeral i kinda nervo...............
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him bitches always come and go. He’ll looked to me kinda mad kinda confused and said that’s my mom dude
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Gwen we can chat in 2 mounths my aunt just died from covid and is talking forever for us too get there to californa I love you your boyfriend prince!
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''
Stop making jokes about cancer ... i might sound like a Karen but it’s not fair ... my mum died of cancer last month and still I cry nearly every night 🙏🏻
Knock Knock, Charlie, Charlie Brown Good Grief
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop." said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah I gave her everything She took my heart and left me lonely I think broken heart's contagious I won't fix, I'd rather weep I'm lost then I'm found But it's torture bein' in love I love when you're around But I fuckin' hate when you leave Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
