How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
My dog died I'm so sad
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
