Good Will jokes

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

Hope this is good!

Why are Mexicans good at Uno?

They always steal the green card.

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

No one misses them.

What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?

He drops the Mike.

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.

If the USA is so good,

Why did they make a USB?

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.

Onions was a good dog.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"

"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"