Good Will jokes

Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?

They don't know what a house is.

Why are frogs good at basketball?

Because they always make jump shots.

Why are cats good at video games?

Because they have nine lives!

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year, and one's a great year.

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?

Because it got everybody's pokes!

I had a good time with friends!

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.

Know what a 6.9 is?

Another good thing screwed up by a period.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."