Good things jokes

A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?

A: They drive slow through school zones.

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.

We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's twenty of them!

Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?

Good thing it was a "soft" drink!

Two cows are standing in a field.

Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?

Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.