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Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know how to get to home.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.