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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
Memes
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
My dad went to go get milk.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.
And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like
Why can't Indians play football?
Every time they get a corner, they open up a shop. 🙉
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.