Get laid jokes
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.