Seduction jokes
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Happy April Fool's Day.
I am the fool, now fuck me.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.