Why did a cheetah fart it needed more gas.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Your mama is so fat by the time I swerved to miss her with the car I ran out of gas.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Yo mama so fat when i swerved to miss her, i ran out of gas
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
