GA jokes

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.

What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?

They both squeal when you throw them.

What are two things you could call a fart?

"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"

How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

But what is similar is tha-

Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

Sorry 'bout that......

Now, as I was saying,

What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"

The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."

Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."

What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?

What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.

Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the air was gas.

What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.

What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.

Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.

By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas.

Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.

When a king farts, is it considered a noble gas?

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.