What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. A cow with no front legs walking around? Beef stroganoff.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer; The front row of a Trump Rally!
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
what's a orphans favorite battle zone the home front
Knock knock who dare Boo boo who don't cry in front of me or else I'll cry
wanna see a joke open the front facing camera
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
adding a 'gl' in front of camping doesn't make it any better. if you add a 'gl' infront of adolf hitler it doesn't make him a great guy
The titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship and they never crashed into an iceberg, he just shat off the front of the ship
today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: ........ oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel
A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex's perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
