Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
French Jokes
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
Le fish de la toilette.
[Plays french music]
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
French jab is ban French's backwards.
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
