Fitness

Fitness Jokes

Nut

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Dick

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

Dad

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Key

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Sex

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Gym

How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?

Go through the dumbbell door.

Sister

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Sex

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Nut

Do you know Wildee?

What's that?

Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?

Hug

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

Earth

Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?

Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.

Body

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

Woman

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

Stomach

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.