What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o clock on new years. First kill of the match
Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad)
first human comes. sans: that was pun intued
i hate my birthday for my first birthday my mom gave me my life i liked it when it was new and fun now its broken and sad and i wanna take it back
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom and they bought pads. The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no and her mom fainted
a gay couple and a lesibian couple are going to the airport which one gets there first ... the lesibian duh they get there "LICITY SPLIT "
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy? The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: yes
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
What did God say when he made the first black man? crap I burnt one
A lesbian couple and a gay couple. We’re going to San Francisco who made it first. The lesbian couple got there lickety-split The gay couple was still packing their shit
What is a terrorist first move in chest C4
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson she kicked herself in the testicles...
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
