I got sent to the principals office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels
fart <3
So I told my sister want hear some jokes and she was like hit me with best shot fire away and I was like okay I know ur singing and old song yeah I was trying to see if u sing too and I said who do u think I am Chris brown Hi
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE
What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don't go up in smoke
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
Fuck and sex are hot which is fire
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out the classroom the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
"so I was at high school one day in the bathrooms and I'm circumcised and the kid next to me wasn't so he showed me his pp and he had a foreskin so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired..."
The Bigfoots had a campfire one Bigfoot Asked what sould we roast next the other Repiled maybe a penis and a girl 👩🏻
I was camping with my buddy and there was a fire we were roasting marrsmelows and there was a vine and tripped on it and went penis first into the fire and I said well there goes your children stupid ass
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter." So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!" And then she died.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold
Logic fire bars in fottntoe sped up to sound like he chipmmumnun like Alvin and Simoen ans z Theode :)
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
wood fired pizza?
hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
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(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied "I couldn't find any" She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?
