In America they was a boy named urhan and he had one hand and a stump and a girl named handa who was a orphan, they had a trial for Boston red socks and they failed because urhan couldn’t stump the ball and handa didn’t know where home was.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they don’t know what a home is.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they don't know where home is
Why cant orphans play baseball? because they don't know where home is.....
2 cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: good thing i'm a helicopter.
What's the hardest thing walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? -"I want my quarter back."
what's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies
My boner
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Why did the scarecrow get promoted He was outstanding in his field
Touch Down
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
but it's pasture bed time.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? -- "Deja moo!"
