Family jokes
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Mom! (DYM 14)
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
Why do orphans not play bingo?
Because they don’t know what a full house is.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l