Family jokes
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
Why do orphans prefer trucks? Because, unlike their parents, it is different.
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Mom! (DYM 22)
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭