Family jokes
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
Yo mama so fat...
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.