Family jokes
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
What is the definition of clapped?
Ur mum when I am in her bed.
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"