Family jokes
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is! 🤣
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they have no home.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
Because they can't press the home button.