Family jokes
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
I made a website about orphans.
But I can’t make a home page.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?
Parent signature __________
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?
To try and find their parents.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.