Family jokes
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?
Neither did she.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming"
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
Yo mama so fat,
xbox
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"