Family jokes
Your mom's so fat, she fell.
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."