Expiration jokes
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.