Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
A joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents. It's expired.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
