Existence jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Wanna hear a mean joke?
My life.
Really, SimSimi? Really?
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
I have a new joke.
My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
What is life?
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.