Excretion jokes

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?

No?

Because it hasn't come out yet.

Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.

Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.

That moment when you poop 😂

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

What did buttholes say after taking a dump?

Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.

A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"

lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

PERSON: I need to go so bad!

TOILET: Long time no pee!!!