These gags are killing me!
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
When you are playing Fortnite and you get a big W, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
Yo mama is so fat, she brought a pencil to early intervention!
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
