you ever look back at your ex and are like 'wow! what was i think?' then i start to think i was the problem :( just kidding fuck that asshole
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh how did I survive. Fortunately being her husband I was the 1 person she wasn't fucking.
how do you surprise 50 year old man? by putting a 12 inch dick through his ass. He said " best surprise ever"
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
why is texas the worst state ever?
they only have one star.
why is September 11th the best birthday?
no one ever forgets it! <3
Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it! :)
Ever heard of ligma ligma ba-
Store owner: u have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: please.
Store owner: oh okay but get on ur tippy toes.
Kid: ever body is hugging
Bully: have u ever heard of a brain
Stupid kid:no
Bully: u should go get one
Stupid kid: wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
My friend: you ever feel like life is pointless *drives faster* Me: yea- My friend: if you could die with one person who would it be? *speeds up more* Me: H-hey you should slow down! slow down slow down! were about to-
Earnie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Earnie "how did you sleep?" Earnie replied with "I slept amazing I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life." Burt replied with "good to hear, I slept amazing too, I had a dream that I was in heaven surround by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Royal rebel and push so back they ever marble say that drink pushback
the first ever joke : https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning
