Eve Jokes

"It's Sunday evening!!!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

my mom told me to go to bed but then I grabbed a drink went in their room to say goodnight and they looked like adam and eve on steroids

What did eve say to Adam That is rock hard

Your hairline so far back my dad eve took 48 hours to reach it

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.

The cold winter night there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men where gay but they did not know. Fili: Fili. Kili: And Kili. Fili and Kili: At your service. Kili: You must be Mr. Baggins. Bilbo: No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house. Kili: What?! Has it been canceled? Fili: No one told us. Bilbo: Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled. Kili: That’s a relief. Fili: Careful with these, I just had them sharpened. Kili: It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself? Bilbo: Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that? Dwalin: Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand. Kili: Mr. Dwalin. Balin: Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in. Bilbo: Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste! One of the Dwarves: Get off, you big lump!

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. it was a bar seat. they where able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it

adam and eve had 3 male children, the only children on earth, how did they reproduce?

Who was the first carpenter??? Eve,,,,, she made Adam's banana stand...

Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day and Eve says to Adam let's go for a swim. Adam replies I'm not in the mood. She says ok I will go by myself. She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says the water is beautiful come in and Adam replies na still not in the mood. Eve wade's into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says Oh No now all the fish are gonna smell like that.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

Bonjour all ;-) , nd here a frog ( French) joke lol. qui a inventé le mètre et qui a inventé le centimètre? (who invented the meter, and who invented the centimeter ?) Answer: Adam à inventé le mêtre , parce qu'il voulait le (mettre) de dans ...(Adam invented the meter because he wanted to put it in). Eve à inventée le centimetre, parce qu'elle voulait, le sentir- metre ( centimetre) Eve invented the centimeter, because she wanted to fill it when going in...

There are two kids sitting in a classroom Lily and john Lily sleeps in class everyday.The teacher asks lily who made heaven and earth john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY teacher says that's right the teacher says the next day she asks the same question john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY that's right the teacher says next day she asks lily what did Eve say to adam after their 100th john pokes her again IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME IMMA BREAK IT IN HALF she shouts.

Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!!