Envy jokes
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.