What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
What's Link's favorite porn video? The Legend of Zeldas Sucking.
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
I put this joke so theamout of jokes wil be 69 also i have 50 kids in my basement i fed "twinkes" last night
What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?
Homecoming.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair? Hot wheels
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids company.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
