Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!
YOUR MAMA SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE WENT TO MCDONALDS THEY SAID, "sorry you've had enough mam"
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.
I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"
A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
If she’s old enough to smoke She’s old enough to choke If she’s old enough to pee She’s old enough for me
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics”
I ran into a fat woman today she said next time don’t hit me. I said I don’t think I have enough gas to go around. Then the ground start to rumble with every step she took
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill two and half men.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day there would be enough food to feed africans for 500 years
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
jo mama is so fat that naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her
i asked a man i was the fastest gun in the west. he said my 17 wasn't good enough. after that, a lot of lead went into his head.
1 2 3 4 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
