ED jokes
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?
He wok-ed.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
People are so f***ed up. I belated "Frickin' BTW!"
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.