ED jokes

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?

What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?

Vegetable Soup.

Ed is Ed in bed, full of head.

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"

Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.

When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."

I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."

I heard a joke about chocolate.

It wasn’t that funny.

I just Snicker-ed.

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.

What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.

The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.