Dyslexic

Dyslexic jokes

Waitress

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Funeral

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

Idk

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

Atheist

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

Word

I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.

Guy

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Version

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

Address

When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?

When it fails to turn up.

Class

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Sister

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

Teacher

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Name

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.