Dyslexic jokes

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?

He shot a Ginger.

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?

When it fails to turn up.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

My "friend" has dyslexia.

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

Rory Burrows is dyslexic.

I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"