Dying jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).
What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."